No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister.

I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! You hit me with a cricket bat. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? You hit me with a cricket bat.

You've swallowed a planet! No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish.

Did I mention we have comfy chairs?

No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?

1. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!
2. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish.
3. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff.

I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish.

• I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me!
• You hit me with a cricket bat.
• You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why. I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?

You've swallowed a planet! They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness.

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! You've swallowed a planet! I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why.

It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'! All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Saving the world with meals on wheels.

You've swallowed a planet! Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Saving the world with meals on wheels.

You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. You hit me with a cricket bat.

Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?